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Thu, Nov. 30th, 2006, 01:56 am
Oh, what the hell.

Your results:
You are Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker
Princess Leia
Han Solo
Qui-Gon Jinn
Jabba the Hutt
Obi-Wan Kenobi
You value your friends and loved ones,
but can sometimes act recklessly
because of your emotions.
Occasionally you resort to whining.
You look ahead to great things for yourself.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)

Click here to take the "Which Star Wars character am I?" quiz...

Wed, Sep. 6th, 2006, 10:38 am
Funkymadweird dream sequence~


Ok. A little background, before I start-I've had this dream before. But it didn't end the same, and you'll see how ina minute.

The dream starts out in a factory/department store, where "I" am working.
(Mind you, I am not  me , but the guy I am isn't name'd for a long time...and, it's in firstperson for a while.) Apparently, I've worked there a long time...in the factory part. It's some sort of weapons manufacturer...theres the new building, where everyone actually -works-, and the old building...which is overrun with monsters. And of course the store part, which is connected -secretly- to the weapons factory/new part, but only sells normal things. Like if Walmart had a back door that went in to a Smith and Wesson factory.

Now, theres an elderly couple I know who've told me that the monsters in the old half must be destroyed, and give me a necklace to 'close' the monster warp. 'Course, I gotta solve a bunch of puzzles to get in, one of which is a bottlecap puzzle, which is very important later. But, when I go there, the whole area has no electricity, and the people who've gone before me to try'n shut down the monster gateway are zombies. So, in a moment of genius, I get the idea to hide inside of a bag and get on the garbage barges (theres a river that runs in the middle of the factory-why, I dunno, but thats where all the garbage for the new factory goes) The old people had told me that the monster thing was at the end of the river...but, I kinda panic when I start hearing monstery noises, and manage to get off the barge and fumble around in the dark. And find a lightswitch, which turns the entire plant/factory back on. 'Course, this alerts the factory's owner, who rushes over quite easily since I solved the damn puzzles -for- him. A couple other people come, like this one black-haired, antihero type who rushes over and saves my sorry ass from a zombie which had snuck up on meh. :B

So, the old people come too...they confront the owner on what they're trying to do, and present a rather large (about as big as half a person) bomb, whicvh they propose to blow up the end of the factory/river with. The manager suddeny starts acting evil, saying he wants the monsters, and orders the men who came with him to "start the weapons riot". I'm still over by the switch with Anniheroguy (whos still holding me) and then something blows up, out in the new factory.And sirens go off, and I can hear the madness...and then theres a scream, and for five seconds in the dream (the duration of the scream) all I can see is an eye. A rather lovely, violet eye. :3 But when it unfocuses from the eye, it turns out that was the guy-who-I-was's eye. Hes a pretty blonde. I dunno what my kick with blondes lately is, but...so, the old people frantically get the bomb on one of the garbage barges and start down. Blondie and annihero run like hell to get out of there, and as they climb up the bottlecap puzzle, the owner shoots the old people before they get too far. (At this point in my -original- view of this dream, blondie got scared by the gunshots and slipped, and lots of bottlecaps came off...and thus the front door to the factory closed, and noone could make it out. So blondie ended up getting killed, despite annihero trying to save him...it was really sad ;o; )

However, in THIS dream, blondie was...deja-vuing over knowing they were gonna get shot, so he didn't get as scared when he heard the shots go off...so only two bottlecaps came loose. Then he warns Annihero not to knock any loose either, 'cause they'll all end up dead. So, they make it up and in to the new factory, where people are all going -nuts-. Hoarding up behind boxes, shooting each other, screaming to be let out...annihero manages to keep blondie real safe throughout the chaos of didging this and that and cranes and crazypeople. So, they get in to the walmartish store half, and panic is starting to leak in to there, as well. At this point, some guy drags blondie off and tries to steal his necklace, but the guy gets killed by a crazy old lady who cuts his head off. So, understandably, Blondie is -bookin'- to get out. Annihero is too, but hes also looking for the missing blonde wonder. Turns out noone can get out 'cause theres a line of cops blocking the exit, and only letting out children and injured people first. Blondie gets to the front 'cause hes got a lovely gash down his arm from the crazy old lady, and sees a cop being bribed by some officials in suits to not report the massacre. And the cop ok's it, 'cause the suits give him a pair of shiny rhinestone pink sock medallions (His daughter is with the cop, and shes wearing a redsocks shirt, so I assume...). Blondie goes outside to see it's nighttime, and then turns around when someone suddenly makes it out, and sess it's annihero, who he then calls "Tre". Tre hugs blondie (awe) and says he was all worried and minor emotional moment...then he stops, recomposes his 'cool' (which amuses blondie a lot) and they get in Tre's fancy black sportscar and leave. On the way to get...away, they see the old part of the factory from the highway, and blondie remarks how sad this all is, and how this could be the end of the world or something. Tre just goes all too-cool-i'm-driving-with-one-hand, "Don't be so negative, Jie." and stuff. (I thought he called him "G" for a long time, but Tre does not look like a streetbanger.)

So, they get to the apartment/boarding house where Jie lives, park Tre's car in the back, and bandage up Jie's arms and clean it...and bandage up the gash Tre's been hiding under his hair. The boarding owner, who I think is Jie's adopted father (the old boarder and his wife are both very small, older asians...and Jie is a paleashell blonde with purple eyes. Hes definately not their kid...but I know Jie is not a whitie name, and Jie calls boarderman papa, so I can only assume hes adopted and they renamed him Jie. Who knows.), comes in and asks what the hell is going on, people have been acting weird and freaking out in the streets, and Jie'n'Tre gather up the entire house and tell them what happened. The boardinghouse guy looks sullen, and then comes clean-the owner of the factories, the guy who shot the old couple, called before blondie and annihero got there and told the boarderowner to hold them there, so they could be finished off. Now that he knows whats going on, he don't want that to happen...and Jie tearfully thanks him and stuff. So, boarderguy says that in enchange for them helping out the pair, Jie can go make dinner 'like a good little gir...boy, you know what I mean, kid'. So Jie goes in to the kitchen (which has a door elading to the back yard, where the car is parked) and starts gutting a chicken, and seems much happier. Which means Tre has to ruin the moment by saying that all the boarders just went out in to the front lawn, and some cars pulled up after then. The two go to the front window and peek out, and watch the boarders getting massacred by the suits from earlier (presuming they work for the factoryowner). Poor Jie starts really -bawling- his eyes out, 'cause they're killing kids, his parents, whoever they can. Tre manages to drag him to the back of the house, out the back door, and they escape in his sportscar again.

The ride this time has Jie just curled up in the passenger seat, still cryin' and it's sad and omg I woulda been bawling myself if I were capable 'cause hes just that un-yucky looking cryer type of person and...Tre drives down the road, and parks the car under a bridge, out of sight. At which point he scoots over in to Jie's seat and kinda pulls blondie in to his lap and is pet-ting his hair and stuff...when Jie's just down to hiccuping, Tre starts reminding him of how they met when they were little, how Tre used to be a bully and how Jie used to sob and cry, even if Tre hadn't done anything to him yet, and it'd always break his heart. Without either of them noticing, a car silently pulls up behind them, and a guy gets out and walks to the passenger's window. And then slams the window, glass shatters (yay for hairpetting-Jie had his face buried in...well, to be blunt, Tre's crotch, so no glass got anywhere vital. It did get in Jie's hurt-ed arm though) and he points a gun strait at blondie and demands the necklace from him. Well, Tre is -really- irate now, 'cause the guy just re-hurt Jie and the blondeboi is crying again, so he takes the necklace off Jie himself and hands it to the guy. Gunguy says that the factory owner (he said "Your boss") would leave the two alone now, and runs off ninja-style in to the night. Tre decides that this is getting ridiculous, and scoots back to the driver's seat very carefully, moves the injured Jie to the back seat, where theres no glass, and drives to the hospital. Aaaaand thats when I woke up 'cause my alarm sounds like an ambulance siren for the first five minutes. But when the ambulance started going "EEP EEP EPP" I woke up </3 Blah...I wanna know what happens, man! ;o;

Sat, Aug. 26th, 2006, 05:53 pm


Ironically, I just found a PW rp place on LJ.


Uh, what? I dunno. It was that Croik person again. :x The god of the Phowright fandom? Pro'lly. I am merely a player in the universe~

Speaking of which. ALL MY CHARAS ARE ON DEATH NOTICE-I'mma kill off some people. none of the cops, two of the prosecutors, three helpers, and a defencie. WHO, I WILL NEVER TELL :O

Psh, like Chibi checks here. >'> And/or like she knows the people I'm killaxin'. :D Oh the powers of deception~

Sun, Jul. 30th, 2006, 06:50 pm
Toby's Arc

Sun, Jul. 30th, 2006, 05:37 am
A less emo...emo jorunal rant? Does that make sense?

Well~ Hello, O Journal Of Complaining. How are you?

Hey, didn't I name this thing? (edit: Yeah. Geraldo, silly~) Eh, anyway.

...goddamnitanimeI'vebeensaying'eh'allday...night...same thing, damnit~ I was making funky handmotions when I talked at Maddi's too. @'@


I have a funny little guilt complex that says, AND I QUOTE, "You've never been sexually assaulted, or abused, so cut the shit-you got it easy." S'cause my momma was abused (she randomly talks about it...I'm kinda numb to it, people) and I thiiiinnnk raped but she'll never tell me (which is good 'cause I'd never hear the end of it). And dad was ALSO abused...well, I need confirmation on that. I know he was with his dad. But this stuff gets to a kid, yanno? My mom tells me constantly "YOU SHOULD BE MORE GREATFUL FOR NOT HAVING A BABY OR ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND OR BEING RAPED OR BLAHBLAHBLAH"

A. I need a boyfriend to get preggers. o'O
B. I still don't have a boyfriend, so therefore he can't beat the crap out of me,
C. ...I really...don't wanna talk about this one. Whole different rant.
D. Blah?

This ties in, again, to Aspies. 'Cause as I mature, I realize I'm fucked up 'cause of this stupid little disorder. Well. Not fucked up. 'Cause I ain't been raped and I ain't been 'bused, so I must be fine. Yesthisismyhomementality. I don't much care for it, understandably. This is not to say that my parents are heartless bastards-I love dem heartless bastards still-but something weird's going on. I still remember being maybe eleven, and writing my mom a letter about how I had conversations with people in my head, and how I liked them more than talking to normal people. I -still- do this (mostly for story-plotty purposes), and I...narrate stories in my head? Ususally hardcore pr0n so I can look that old lady right in the face, just think of how poor Kami's back is starting to hurt, and laugh my fucking ass off. I don't advise you try it.

Wha'd she do, after I slipped the letter under her bedroom door? She comes into my room in a fit, yelling about how they put people in -homes- for that shit you idiot what the -fuck- are you thinking stop being -stupid-.

My grandma was out in a home at 18, which made gramma bitter to women. When mom was 18 and pregnant with me, mom almost went to a home. It's like a really sick running gag.

I'm so fucking glad I didn't tell her in that letter that I'd masterbated for the first time like, a week earlier. Hey, don't give me that look. Ashu-you REALLY can't give me that look.

I'm tangenting. Damnit. Another Aspies thing, lets pass the blame~

So, I pissed 'Teos off. 'Cause I was SEVERELY DISSATISFIED with how Yami ended (wtfthatsnotanending). I still am, but...I realized I can live with it. I can understand why they did it. Wiiiiide open. A 'someone else pick up the ball, and keep the game going' kinda thing. Sometimes, I wonder if these people actually think of the fictiony fanbase when they make this stuff. But, I can live with it, yanno? I'm over it. Of course...I reach this 'over it' stage just as she gets pissed off 'cause I'm bitching, and she blocks me. Teos, you bitch to me too. Go piss yourself. Gah. STFU~

Nonono, it's my fault. I'm not allowed to complain. 'Cause I ain't been raped and I ain't been 'bused. (in order to understand this rationale, you must remember the fact that teos has never been raped or abused [tomyknowledge] as well...and then chuck it out the window anyway). So, I won't complain. 'Cause when I complain, I can hear my mother say that. It's wether I can complain louder than that, which determines if you people hear it or not.

Yeah, I know I'm a whiny bitch. We all are...right? Right?

But, theres a reason I was compalinign so hardcore about something totally not her fault. It has to do with my lovely development. Sure, I'll gladly tell everyone how much of a lovely, punch-y, violent baby I was...but I don't like talking about the socially retarded parts of my life. Like, how in second grade I was so goddamn eager to fit in with the other girls that I gave them whatever they wanted-my money, food, hairclips and such, my rings-just so they wouldn't alienate me. It's all because, when I was in the woumba, I was only getting half the usuall inherant human social understandings. I was born not understanding how to act socially. I didn't undertand anything you people are born with naturally, and back then...mom just thought I was spoiled. When I got older, it became me being spoiled and lazy. As a teen, it became lazy and attitude. Now it's Aspergers. Gotta love waiting your entire childhood for a life-changing diagnosis. Fuckin' glad it wasn't cancer.

So, I only got half of what I shoulda known. I was a stupid baby. I cried all the time 'cause I didn't know what else to do (info courtesy of my pediatrician). So, to make this quicker, I was born with only half the social puzzle.

See where I'm going with this?

Now, the show. Thirteen eppisodes seems to be the point where I finally understand names. First names. I can put first names to faces. Woo. AND THEN IT ENDS. And it's not so much that it ended that bothers me, I feel like I'm...missing something there. Like, I'm standing at the very edge of this border, what I want is over there, but I can't seem to get over that line to reach it. I rationalized this further to be my obsessive perfectionist streak. There is no perfect show, I -know-, but theres...holes in that show. Don't tell me there aren't. Theres points where you realize something happened and you don't really KNOW what. Fuck, I wanna -know- and then it ends. So, again, I get to just play with half of the puzzle.

If there is one sure-fire way to piss me off, only tell me half of something. It drives me fucking bananas, and I will guarenteedly rip your 'nads out/off if I get the chance. The "Oh this this this happened but the rest isn't important"? I will kill you for that. Only getting half a story, or having huge holes in a show that itch at my brain going 'wtf wait they never explained...'? It makes me crazy. I can't help this, it's something that happens too often. I only get half the puzzle a LOT, 'cause I still don't get this social crap, and I still don't understand the show. Now, I'd expect by now for there to be two schools of thought:

A. "You're being a big baby and overreacting about something stupid."

to which I say DUH YOU FUCKING BITCH i am well aware of that it's 'cause i didn't mature socially correctly either so fuck off

B. "Why does it matter?"

If you went through life only getting half of everything, and only understanding half of what people did, why, how, and what caused it, you'd think it mattered too. The show was just something triggering a bigger issue I have. I want to know it all, or know none of it. Don't halfass this shit, 'cause I'll get pissed and I'll bitch.

But I have no reason to bitch, 'cause I ain't been raped and I ain't been 'bused.

Sat, Jul. 1st, 2006, 11:51 am
i dunno

I'm emotional as fuck, and I need to trace it back. You can feel free as hell to read this up and down. You won't fuckin' like it, but you can go die for all I can stand at this point.

Ok. I got work done. Tied in loose ends with Ben'n'Ade, finally got plotting with the Jaek lawyery stuff. Was damn proud, going through all my files...completely skimmed over my poor, neglected Neos. I've been doing that a lot lately.

chibi's been trying to get me to flex them some, I know, but I've balked at every turn. For one, I've given up OOC. I try'n never, ever use *'s if I can help it. Why? I have no idea. I don't wanna be clinging to something thats gone kinda thing. That was a then time, this is a now time. Like I said, you wouldn't like it, but I don't give a fuck. This is the god's honest truth.

Fuck, I was supposed to sweep.

For two, well...the Jumi as a whole. I just did that sphiel. Same applies. I've worn them out, I've clung on too long...realize this: someday, you'll have to let go of yours. No fuckin' romanticizims, as much as I love them, here. I hate that, it makes me ill, but I gotta live with it. They're raggedy, and it's just an abuse to drag them through the same-old. Yeah, I'm not fuckin' fair, go cry to someone else. They're mine before anyone else. I -am- fuckin' selfish.

But, I got through that usual, familiar feeling of regret, clinging to them so hard but never using them. I don't really RP very much at all anymore, I've lost my guts and my will and my ability. In that order. Chibi's lucky I even RP with her, but thats...I have no idea why. I don't feel pressure or anything, 'cause she never, ever saw me when I was good. Then whats my hangup with strangers? I dunno 'em. I make no fuckin' sense.

Got through all that, anyway. Little remorse here and there, add a few things, presto-I had a workable, clean-of-ties Robi. A fuckin' miracle. I always...even before Triad, during triad, and...can this be called post-triad?...wanted to use him stand-alone, 'cause he catches my interest more than most. Excluding Kami. But Kami is a two-way package with Tani, and that complicates matters unnessissairily. So, Robi stuck out. He alwsays has. Hes one of my few sucess stories. And I was ready for him to be butchered by my terrible skills of late, but I was...ok with it? Not really, but I felt I could mend him. If anyone, he could be fixed. He'n'Ka have always felt limitless to me; I could put them in any area, any setting, and I'd be good to go from the getgo. I think it has to do with attachment or something. They're the top of the foodchain.

No, KaxRobi will never happen. Tani would sooner rip his own face off.

Well. Then the whole 'rando-make plot!' thing came up. Honestly...I struggle against everything, wether I really wanna or not. I really wanted to magically make something worthy, make Ashu happpy and let there be bliss and harmony. But, no. My own fuckin' emotionalistic response was AUGHFEAR, 'cause thats how I self-sabotage. Well, wasn't fun. Know what happened there. I finally blabbed all the stuff about the poor Jumi, how they feel dusty to me. Like I'd really use them anyway. But...I dunno. When does use turn to abuse? I sound like my druggie uncle.

Blah, I got overly emotional and avoidy. 'Cause I'm pissed off that I've made myself make it come to this. I could fix them. Hell, I could just convert all the Neos over neatly into reality. I've done it in my head a million times, it's easy. But it doesn't feel right to me. It actually kinda makes me sick. Like, 'why the hell do you need to cling to them, you sentimental bitch' sick. I sound like an abuse case, I deserve an Oscar.

Just...downward from there. Tried to work some more. Realized that my moping on this stuff was pissin' off Chibi/would in the near future, and went 'you fucking idiot you don't ened to spread your misery around'. And then I got Auit IMing me out of the blue, apologizing for a piccy I asked for a year ago, I'm emoing, people're trying to get me to respond, Jax's concerned 'cause I'm not gonna even drag HER into this...

And then Ky decides to get pissed off at his videogame and bang his head into the couch. Mikey comes out, tells me I should stop him before he knocks his brain out. I sit there for easily a whole minute, go out there, and break out crying and screaming like neither of them have ever heard out of my mouth. Yelling about how he gets so emotional over nothing, how he needs to get a grip, how he should just grow the fuck up and stop worrying about things that won't last anyway. Then I came back and I cried and they walked past and I cried and they went to bed and I stopped crying.

So, Ky comes out five minutes ago and says, "Is it Sunday yet?"

I go, "It'll be Sunday in two minutes."

He smiles, and goes, "Good, we still have time to watch our show."

And he walks back to his room as if nothing happened at all.


Even when going through stuff in my head, writing this, I'm still so fucking dramatic. Screw the Oscar, I want an Emmy.

Tue, Jun. 27th, 2006, 06:29 am

I need to ramble and rant on some, noones on (what'm I doing on at 6:30, huh?) and my mouth feels like...


[/drama] Srslyithurts ;o; Like, throbby stitchesy achjy bleedy oozy hurts. I'm such a baby, I'm not used to pain, so this is really goddamn new to me. ;';

In other news, I have meds that'll make me feel better, make the hurt stop, and clot teh bl00d. Am I taking them?


'Cause they taste funny. Not medicine funny, though...my green tea tastes more mediciney than the actual perscriptions do. This is why I am not taking them. .'. And 'sides, the antibiotic one makes my tongue feel...fuzzy. Tongues are not supposed to feel...fuzzy. Unless they're growing mold. Or you just licked a cat. Or it got cut out, left in a trashcan, and some mangey flea-bitten mutt roled all over it.

Six am makes my brain think odd things, but I simply cannot go back to sleep. The whole morphine kick and whatever else it was they stuck in me (they wouldn't tell me what was going on after I whimpered and whined over the IV-but they out something up my nose, and they had a drill and and and...)

Too'fpain. Ok, I give up, gimme the meds. ;o; [/wuss]

Maybe I'll get lucky and like, my mouth won't rot. Mom's worried I'll get a yeast infection from this somehow. o'O;;; That...kinda creeps me out, but thanks to 'Teos's escapades, i know that yougurt is your fuckbuddy in such a time of need.

Not that I need a fuckbuddy or anything. Dude. Celibate. Noreallythatwallisnotcrumblingintheleast.

I wouldn't mind a kiss, though...yanno, once my mouth stops feeling like...



I should write a book. I'm sure more people would piss themselves laughing at me than would use it as firewood. But, alas, I am too lazy, and lack the wit to do such a thing. Mom wants me to go to college for writin' though. Way on the fence about that. The usual "I'm ok, but theres better people than I...so how can -I- go to college and expect something out of it?" emo stuff.It's goddamn true, don't tell me it ain't. >:| The odds of being sucessful with -books- and litterature these days is like...32 out of...uh...a bajatrill...ion...


Sat, Mar. 4th, 2006, 11:34 pm
Melzie gave me the idea. (<3 4 hurr)


"This is the third time this week, Caleb!"
"I know, I know...!"
"Listen, I'm not your babysitter. You've got to remember this stuff! How do you expect to get regular otherwise?"

A man, nervously fidgiting. A woman, annoyedly shaking a bottle of white pills. It was just one of those moments that seems insignificant, or inj their case, common...but really meant something. It wasn't just the fifteenth time the man had forgotten his medication, it was the one time it had been -her- responsibility to remind him. It wasn't just him being forgetful, it was his thought's being preoccupied with something else. It was so seemingly common, but so important.

Anna shook the bottle again, steadily, until she was satisfied with the noise and dropped it on the table. She wasn't annoyed at him at all, she was mad that she had forgotten, and had thus not been helpful in the first place. She had moved in to his apartment, invaded his space, so she COULD be helpful. Internally, she figured she should just move back out, go back to her parents and continue work as an aid for the elderly. But, who could say she'd remember then? What if she forgot some old woman's heart medication, and-...just that one simple moment had spread the seed of doubt throughout her brain and nerves.

No matter what Caleb did, he couldn't meet her steady gaze. She had always been so steadfast like that, solid, never failing, while he was always fidgiting. She reminded him a lot of his mother. Of course, he didn't think his mother was nearly as beautiful as she was. Oh yes, she'd stolen his thoughts...to the point where he had forgotten all but her, and for just one moment, it was ok. This was the aftershock of it. He had told himself he'd remember to take the pill. He'd impress her, he'd finally show that he was capable, not just an invalid, but a -person- who didn't need to be watched, but to be loved-then again, why would she, if he couldn't remember such a simple thing as taking a pill? Worry had crossed into his mind, as well.

The sound of the pill bottle clicking against the table erased both paths of uneasiness in an instant. The click was so profound and reminding-

It had been a sunny day, barely a cloud in the sky. They had gotten into Anna's bright, red sportscar and driven to a grassy knoll by the coast. Caleb had remembered to bring the picnic basket, -and- the blanket, which had completely exceeded Anna's expectation. They had joked about having the spare set, 'just in case', and had went about their setup. Of course, like most picnics, those clouds turned fierce in a measley hour, and soon they were running back to the car, drenched, and without their meal. After shivering in the car, they had finally found a use for their spare picnic...and sat in the back seat, wrapped up in the extra blanket, eating the extra lunch.

"...that scar..."

It wasn't long before Anna noticed it, being in such close quarters. She put her sandwich down, in her lap, and gently brushed the hair away from the dark line across Caleb's temple. Internally, he felt like fainting, but managed to keep his cool...outwardly. "U-uh...yeah, thats...thats from...the incident." Eventually, Anna moved her hand into her lap. However, when she didn't retrieve her sandwich, Caleb put his own food down...he hadn't been able to eat after that, anyway. "So...thats where she hit you? God, Caleb...I'm suprised you're alive at all." He didn't know how to take that comment, so he said nothing. She didn't need him to say anything, and could pratically feel his uncomfortableness. Yet, this was a topic he needed to discuss. "Do you still remember it all?"

"Remember it? It's the only thing I -can- remember..."

"Can you...tell me about it? Please?" The way she looked at him then was so patient and steady, it made him fidgit. He knew she wouldn't move. She'd sit there, resting on her elbow, watching his every facial move until he said something. He didn't want to talk about it, of course, but he welcomed the need to.

"We...we were in the basement. Both of us, we weren't supposed to be there...the lady had always hated us, playing in her yard and stepping on her flowers...it was all on accident, of course. I was only nine. But, her...husband. Had recently passed away, because my brother...a car had been comming, her husband was driving, and my brother was in the road. He...crashed...into a tree to avoid him. And we were in her basement, we wanted to say he was sorry. It was a week later, he didn't mean to get him killed, none of us wanted that! The older kids...they said he...was in her basement. And...they tattled on us."

His voice was getting thick with emotion, and with slow movements, Anna reached out and pulled him close; she needed to help him, she realized it in that moment. It was a nessissity. "She...found us down there, poking around...asked us if we wanted to ruin her life more, said we'd done enough...she looked so scary that my brother...ran, but I was too scared. I just...froze...and she had that poker in her hand, and she...s-she just..."

The rain had turned to hail, and it's clicking...was so memorable. So memorable that the two had gone from their worry and doubt to that same entwined position on the couch, his throat just as thick as then, and her heart just as broken and needy as that time. It wasn't like the fourteen other times. This time, she didn't care, she had to say it, and she couldn't keep the feeling bottled up anymore.

"Caleb, I lo-"

The soft sound of his snoring cut her off, and all she could manage to do was hug him tighter.

Wed, Mar. 1st, 2006, 02:02 pm
Scifi thingy for class. :|


Cough, hack, cough.

"It's no good, Jim, I don't know what you want me to do-"

Weeze, choke, cough.

"Goddamnit, don't give me that crap! You have to do something! What the hell were they paying you to do in that backwater hospital?!"

Sniff, cough, hack.

It was a paticularly depressing scene to of come home for, in retrospect. I had come away from the 'backwater' hospital to get away from my job, to relax, to have some solace-and the disease had followed me, like some sort of shadow. If only...

It was the third day, Jim had told me. Three, long days...after so many patients, I knew how long those three days were. Liz did have asthma, too; I can't forget how weak my brother's wife is. It was suprising to me that she had survived this long...but that wasn't my biggest concern. I had done what I could...kept her fed and full of liquid, and kept my father's emergency oxygen tank close by. It was the least I could do at this point...it was in whatever diety's hands, now. If she lapsed to stage four, there would be no hope...not that there was much, in Liz's condition. Then again, you try telling your brother that.

Aside from tending to Liz, I had my driven Jim's kids to the hospital, ASAP-I wasn't taking any chances with my nieces, but no matter what I said, Jim would not leave Liz's side. Not that I was much suprised...the two were pratically joined at the hip since we were all nine. I knew it was highly dangerous to even let him stay in the house (Liz was contagious enough) but I had been keeping it pretty contained...my parents had left the house, to go stay in a hotel with my sister and her family. I had sent them off with a very stern warning to -immediately- seek medical help if they so much as sneezed once. And, with them gone, it was just Jim, Liz and I.

Finally comming back to my brother's angry statement, I turned away from watching the sleping woman and sighed. "Jim, listen to me. This is a very volatile disease, I've seen what it can do. To have risked your kids for so long...I can't believe you would. I can't believe you would risk your own health. Why didn't you go to a doctor or something?" "We -did-. We saw a cracpot of a guy, too, gave us some...tonic, told her to drink it all. Didn't do a damn thing!" My brother angrily growled a bit, gripping his wife's hand tightly, and I nodded a bit lethargically. Fake doctors with miracle cures had been croppig up as of late, and it wasn't suprising that Jim would fall for one. "Listen to me, ok? You need to understand this. If shes not better by tomorrow..." "I'm not gonna abandon her! Goddamnit, shes my wife-" "I didn't say abandon, Jim. You just have to...prepare for the worst. And tomorrow, wether shes better or not, you are going to the hospital. I'll stay and take care of Liz best I can, and then...after...this is all said and done, I'll have a crew come to detox the house." I didn't expect my brother to be very...understanding of the fragility of the situation, but his leaping out of his chair startled me nearly out of my own. He glanded frantically at Liz for a moment, then at me, and with a deep, shaky breath, her weezed out...

"Shes -pregnant-, Nick...!"

Tue, Feb. 21st, 2006, 10:56 pm
So begins me...third LJ?

Yee-haw. I'm here again. :3 And...at a loss for what to do. So, who do I turn to? Ashu~ <3

Gaanetto Kishi (11:00:40 PM): *trying to remember how to write in a diary*
PH4N745M460R14 (11:01:02 PM): ...talk to it? I dunno.

...I dub thee...Geraldo. >3 Hello, Geraldo. How are you, on the day of your birth?

Hey, I wonder if I can hook you up with a friend of mine's LJ, real hawt stuff there. >:D Ya know the type I mean, yeaaaah boiiie~! [/innercitykid]

Anyway. This, I assume, will end up being a me-post-crap-I-write-slash-rambles-I-write-then-later-regret-'cause-rambles-never-make-sense-and...man, I've wanted to read Godeaters for MONTHS now, and I can't frikken find the URL. Gonna go kick Ky for it. <3

Seriously, Geraldo, ya packin' on a few pounds there. Ya can't be goin' on "the hunt" with extra baggage, d00d! Can't catch crap with a flabby deck, iffyaknowwhatImean. :/ Don't worry, I hook ya up with a membership card from...somewhere. Some new fancy Poulatti or Pastrami or something opened up down the road...I'll treat ya, kay? Ya deserve it, man, ya always had my back.

Where the hell was I going with this?

Anyway. I got me St.Rose stuff fun overnight stay of AWESOME tomorrow. Fuckin' nervous as a nun takin' a pregnancy test. Jitters'n'everything, god. It's only an overnight. At a college. With complete strangers. Where they gonna -make- me shower. And, like, socialize. And sleep in a SLEEPING BAG. Gah. It sounds like girlscouts all over again, bad memories dude...

Bah, I'll get over it. It's just a bunch of college girls who want to TAKE IT ALL OFF 19.15 IS ALL IT COSTS TO GET HOT, YOUNG GIRLS PUTTING IT ALL ON THE LINE FOR A SHOT-

...thank GOD it's a catholic college.

P.S.- http://chartreuse.studiowhippingboy.com//g_e_index.html